Fat, sick, and more-than-nearly dehydrated

New blog time, bitches!

I don’t particularly have a lot to say right now, but have a ton of GIFs saved with blog stuff in mind.

This isn’t one of them, it’s just amazing.

Anyway, so… what’s been going on since the last post?  Well, I’ve been sick for WEEKS now.

I had gone to the doctor for one of my weekly check-ins and was starting to feel like I was starting to get a cold the night before.  I was told I had an upper respiratory infection and that it’d last a couple of weeks.

Uh huh, whatever doc, I have a small cold.  I’ll power right through it.

WRONG!

So the cold ended up getting worse and I was fairly positive that I had pneumonia.  I was scared that all of the coughing was going to be bad for my new innards.  I knew I was somewhat dehydrated, so I figured that hitting up the ER wouldn’t hurt… get some fluids, check out my lungs, whatever.  So I get to the ER and I’m like CRAZY winded walking in the door.  I get put into a room almost immediately and they were treating me like I’m bleeding out or something.  Hooking me up to all this equipment, asking me a million frantic questions, and getting me into a hospital gown right in front of them (usually I’m given privacy, whatever, nothing they haven’t seen before).  They checked my pulse and blood pressure and were like “Uhhhhh yeah we should put her in the next room”.  Apparently I was CRAZY dehydrated and my heart rate was 180, so they put me in the room with the extra equipment in case I dropped dead or whatever.  Rad.

After multiple attempts, they were able to get an IV placed and got my starting to re-hydrate.  They gave me 3 or 4 bags of fluid, but my pulse still raced any time I moved!  They did a portable chest x-ray, no pneumonia that they saw.  The meds they gave me to stop coughing didn’t really help and I seriously couldn’t blow my nose without making the heart monitor start beeping, so they decided to admit me to the hospital and see if they could stabilize things.

One of the good things about this hospitalization is that I basically HAVE to eat something.  If I’m home alone and don’t feel up to it, I don’t bother.  But in the hospital, there’s a menu and a feeding schedule (lol like you can only get breakfast certain hours and stuff) and people coming in constantly to make sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to.  Now, this menu was not bariatric or veg-friendly, really.  My first meal was a scoop of (friggin incredible) mashed potatoes and a small fruit cup.  I had scrambled eggs with salsa and a side of fruit for breakfast, snacked on raw veggies and salad dressing throughout the day, and generally skipped dinner because the snacking filled me up.  I felt the best after breakfast, probably because I got a bit of protein.

I was in the hospital for three days.  They never officially figured out what was wrong with me (whether it was the flu or what) and by the time I was discharged, I honestly felt worse.  I knew I was still dehydrated (I had about 7 total bags of fluids, they had it dripping SUPER slow to keep my veins from exploding), they had found I was allergic to a certain antibiotic, I had the worst migraine I can recall ever having, and I gained like five pounds while I was there because of the re-hydrating.

I wonder if I had just stuck with the natural methods of getting healthy, if I would’ve felt better faster.

I’ve been coughing and junk for a few days short of a month now.

I had another appointment with my doctor about a week later.  I knew I was dehydrated but really felt pretty much okay, aside from being sick.  My heart rate was still up and they asked me if I’ve been drinking water.

I explained that it is physically impossible for me to drink what is expected of me.  (I’m not even being a spoiled brat or anything right now, it seriously doesn’t work for me!)  Anyway, they decided I needed another freaking IV.  They tried three times into the office, without the numbing shot.  OW!!!  Then I sat in a room alone for an hour while they tried to figure out what to do next.  I tried to learn some German on Duolingo for distraction.  I ended up getting sent to the Urgent Care clinic, got two more IV pokes before getting a winner.  They could only give me 3 bags of fluid and people KEPT coming in asking I was feeling better as it was going on.  I felt exactly the same.  What were they expecting?

No. It doesn’t work like that for me.  Maybe after like, 20 bags.  So no, I still walk around like a friggin zombie.

My heart can’t keep up with the lack of hydration and nutrition.  I can walk on the treadmill on occasion, but standing still just kills me.  I’m so weak in the shower that I end up on my hands and knees.

I appear to be losing a bit of weight again, though.  I need to measure my inches, because clothes aren’t fitting anymore.

This was totally me on Superbowl Sunday:

I’ve gotta retire the jeans I was wearing, they aren’t working for me anymore.  For the time being, it’s gonna be all pajamas and gym clothes.

I’m getting an MRI on Monday morning to check out my abdomen and I see my doctor again later this month.  Hopefully things will be better by then?

Oh, hey, I made an Instagram account for Done being big, go check it out.

Thanks for your support, everyone!

Food is a dirty, dirty tramp.

So I stole had a grand idea. If I use GIFs, I can write less and still make a point.

This is brilliant, and perhaps I’ll write posting more.

Anyway, today I would like to talk about food and how it’s been a part of my life lately.  After my surgery, I was on a liquid diet for 26 days. It really wasn’t that bad, some of the time.

Depending on the day and what I could tolerate, I mostly lived on Propel, licorice tea, water, a bit of pop, and protein drinks in whatever way I could force down. (I tried mixing protein powder with water, hot chocolate, juice, broth… the thought makes me sick.)

I was so weak during this time because I was sooooo dehydrated and lacking protein. I could barely walk. I couldn’t shower unless someone else was at the house, out of fear that I would black out. I would have the most bizarre cravings, too. I recommend keeping a list of the things you come up with, it’s pretty funny later on. (I don’t have mine in front of me, but I remember craving reheated food (it HAD to be reheated… I don’t even…), the smell of Jack in the Box tacos, certain meats (keeping in mind that I don’t EAT meat and haven’t since I was a child), and like, the taste of burps after eating broccoli or something.

It was pretty entertaining. I would crave those things, but really had no desire to eat. It wasn’t anything I had any intention of acting on. I would allow myself to feel the craving and generally once I acknowledged it, it would pass. I didn’t feel hunger until my period. That was probably the first time I was like “Screw this, I need food now.”. But I kept on my path.

As mentioned, I had my post-op appointment and after that I was cleared to eat soft foods. You’d think I would be all:

Right? Yeahhhh, no. I ended up in the ER for pretty severe dehydration. I still felt like shit after being released, but hit up my local health food store to pick up some food/drink to test out.

I had my first real food in the evening on 12/20. I had these:

I had been dreaming of these beans for ages. I used to eat a whole container of them mixed with a whole bag of salad, a roma tomato, a small can of sliced black beans, ranch dressing, green onion, and crushed tortilla chips as a taco salad. It probably weighed like two pounds. Yikes. Anyway, I didn’t really want to eat at the time, but knew I needed the protein so I tested it out.

I may *look* okay here, but felt like ASS.

I basically dipped a fork in the container a few times. It was tasty. But a few hours later, OMG. I was in the bathroom for like two hours.

I was in unbelievable pain. Like awful period cramps. I used to get like this at times, with whatever digestive issue I have. (Colitis, IBS, IBD, Crohn’s… depends on who you ask) My body was doing all it could to get the food OUT of me. I was in pain, wanted to puke, wanted to die – it was just awful. I was minutes from calling an ambulance.  This pain went on most every time I ingested anything food-like for about two weeks.

Things have since improved, to an extent. I saw my regular doctor, that took my issues seriously. I took Lomotil for the cramps (same thing I had to take before surgery) and eventually didn’t need to take it. I’ve been going in weekly for checkups with the doctor. The pain and cramping stopped, but I also didn’t have a bowel movement for ten-ish days. I’m still dehydrated, not getting enough potassium, sugar, calories, or protein, but am able to get around a bit now.

I am now free to eat most anything, I guess. Honestly, with all the issues I’ve been having (I know, I’m not properly explaining all those things, I’m an awful writer), I’ve had to throw the rules out the window, to an extent.

As this point, I’m just focusing on chewing properly, taking my time, learning what is/isn’t going to make me sick.

I have felt so much better. It really is the little things. NOT being doubled over in pain all the time is pretty liberating. I’ve felt almost unstoppable at times.

The bad part for me is when the damn period returns. It seems I must eat all the things.

I am on my period right now and my brain keeps telling me to snack. It blows. I am still nowhere near getting the calorie intake, but have gotten better about finding ways to incorporate potassium and protein. I really am feeling a bit better. I’ve gone to the gym twice. That’s the goal, to really get going there.

I had more to say, but this has taken me HOURS to write because I get distracted so easily. I have to go.