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Heart issues and Instagram

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Oh. Hey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I haven’t written in this blog in months. The last time I writing (the end of March), I had to stop to take my mom to the hospital. She was having some jaw pain and as it turns out, it was a heart attack. She’s since had two more. So three heart attacks in about six weeks.

This went down while my grandma was in and out of the hospital/nursing home with heart failure, I was house-sitting out of town, having boy drama, oh and –

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I truly don’t remember what I put in the last blog about my condition lately. I was seeing doctors and getting tests when I wasn’t sitting with my mom or grandma. The mass in my lung seems to have gone away. The ones in my liver hadn’t grown since they were first found in December or January. They don’t *think* it’s cancer, but I’ll get all new tests later this year to check for progress. (The doctor currently thinks the liver masses were caused by birth control, but I haven’t been on any for over a year, so that seems odd to me.) My blood pressure is lower than it used to be, but not officially TOO low. Next up is testing my heart rate – doing one of those treadmill tests and getting another 24 hour heart monitor. I also have to get new labs for my six month surgical follow-up.

I’m really interested to see what’s wrong.  I get faint with minimal effort, get incredibly winded with the slightest incline, still can’t hydrate, get this wicked pain where I assume my left kidney lives, and one of my newer things is that I get REALLY sleepy when I eat.  It’s usually more with sweets or if I eat more than a few bites of something.

I did find a meal that seems to not anger my body in one way or another yet also tastes good.  It’s one slice of toasted Thin Sliced Good Seed bread by Dave’s Killer Bread, half a small avocado, half a roma tomato, and some egg whites (I started using whole eggs, but am liking the whites better – somehow same amount of protein!).  So tasty.  Sometimes I can put away the whole thing, but lately I can only do a few bites.  I just cook it all up, eat what I can, and then later reheat it in the microwave with a little cup of water on the side to keep the eggs from getting rubbery.

I am most definitely still not getting enough protein.  At all.  Ever.  I have not once reached my protein intake daily goal since having my surgery six months ago.  My hair comes out in clumps.  I powered through HARD getting it to grow almost to my ass, but now I look like I have some sort of tropical disease from all the loss.

Are you following me on Instagram?  That’s where I’m doing the bulk of my posting now.  I post the occasional before/during picture or what I’m eating (since there aren’t a heck of a lot of plant-based post-ops out there) or sometimes something from a workout.  I’m slightly obsessed with looking at #putaneggonit.  I follow a lot of cool people on there that have either had weight loss surgery or are on a plant-based diet, I’ve gotten a lot of good meal ideas and info from people on there!  And a lot of unnecessary pictures…

Also, I finally forced myself to go shopping.  My “tight” jeans were having to be kept on with a belt and then folded over.  I was pretty okay with just walking around in sweats all the time, but the male in my life was coming home for a few days from school so I tried to be a girl and go shopping.  I hit a Lane Bryant Outlet, told them I had no idea what size I am or what looks good, and they set me up.  They got me into jeans that were ten sizes smaller than the workout pants I walked in with.  I felt like a damn sausage in them, but have only gotten compliments.  (I’ve since tried to get over myself in shopped at a Goodwill and bought a pair of jeans two sizes bigger for comfort)  I find myself looking in the mirror way more often in my new clothes and giggling, because suddenly I can see a loss.  It’s kinda cool.

I promise I really am going to try to update more, but for sure go follow me on Instagram, as that’s where I am most active.  Thanks for reading!

Food is a dirty, dirty tramp.

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So I stole had a grand idea. If I use GIFs, I can write less and still make a point.

This is brilliant, and perhaps I’ll write posting more.

Anyway, today I would like to talk about food and how it’s been a part of my life lately.  After my surgery, I was on a liquid diet for 26 days. It really wasn’t that bad, some of the time.

Depending on the day and what I could tolerate, I mostly lived on Propel, licorice tea, water, a bit of pop, and protein drinks in whatever way I could force down. (I tried mixing protein powder with water, hot chocolate, juice, broth… the thought makes me sick.)

I was so weak during this time because I was sooooo dehydrated and lacking protein. I could barely walk. I couldn’t shower unless someone else was at the house, out of fear that I would black out. I would have the most bizarre cravings, too. I recommend keeping a list of the things you come up with, it’s pretty funny later on. (I don’t have mine in front of me, but I remember craving reheated food (it HAD to be reheated… I don’t even…), the smell of Jack in the Box tacos, certain meats (keeping in mind that I don’t EAT meat and haven’t since I was a child), and like, the taste of burps after eating broccoli or something.

It was pretty entertaining. I would crave those things, but really had no desire to eat. It wasn’t anything I had any intention of acting on. I would allow myself to feel the craving and generally once I acknowledged it, it would pass. I didn’t feel hunger until my period. That was probably the first time I was like “Screw this, I need food now.”. But I kept on my path.

As mentioned, I had my post-op appointment and after that I was cleared to eat soft foods. You’d think I would be all:

Right? Yeahhhh, no. I ended up in the ER for pretty severe dehydration. I still felt like shit after being released, but hit up my local health food store to pick up some food/drink to test out.

I had my first real food in the evening on 12/20. I had these:

I had been dreaming of these beans for ages. I used to eat a whole container of them mixed with a whole bag of salad, a roma tomato, a small can of sliced black beans, ranch dressing, green onion, and crushed tortilla chips as a taco salad. It probably weighed like two pounds. Yikes. Anyway, I didn’t really want to eat at the time, but knew I needed the protein so I tested it out.

I may *look* okay here, but felt like ASS.

I basically dipped a fork in the container a few times. It was tasty. But a few hours later, OMG. I was in the bathroom for like two hours.

I was in unbelievable pain. Like awful period cramps. I used to get like this at times, with whatever digestive issue I have. (Colitis, IBS, IBD, Crohn’s… depends on who you ask) My body was doing all it could to get the food OUT of me. I was in pain, wanted to puke, wanted to die – it was just awful. I was minutes from calling an ambulance.  This pain went on most every time I ingested anything food-like for about two weeks.

Things have since improved, to an extent. I saw my regular doctor, that took my issues seriously. I took Lomotil for the cramps (same thing I had to take before surgery) and eventually didn’t need to take it. I’ve been going in weekly for checkups with the doctor. The pain and cramping stopped, but I also didn’t have a bowel movement for ten-ish days. I’m still dehydrated, not getting enough potassium, sugar, calories, or protein, but am able to get around a bit now.

I am now free to eat most anything, I guess. Honestly, with all the issues I’ve been having (I know, I’m not properly explaining all those things, I’m an awful writer), I’ve had to throw the rules out the window, to an extent.

As this point, I’m just focusing on chewing properly, taking my time, learning what is/isn’t going to make me sick.

I have felt so much better. It really is the little things. NOT being doubled over in pain all the time is pretty liberating. I’ve felt almost unstoppable at times.

The bad part for me is when the damn period returns. It seems I must eat all the things.

I am on my period right now and my brain keeps telling me to snack. It blows. I am still nowhere near getting the calorie intake, but have gotten better about finding ways to incorporate potassium and protein. I really am feeling a bit better. I’ve gone to the gym twice. That’s the goal, to really get going there.

I had more to say, but this has taken me HOURS to write because I get distracted so easily. I have to go.