Monthly Archives: July 2013

I’ve been studied.

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I meant to write a post about my sleep study sooner (it was a week ago) but my laptop was out of commission.

I had my study at Providence Sleep Health.  I was really scared about it, because the one I had done two years ago at my local sleep center was not the best.  I believe I mentioned in the previous blog why I wasn’t a fan.  This time around, I was sure I wouldn’t want to sleep.  I opted to do a study during the day this time, as I am a bit of a night owl and simply sleep better when it’s bright out.  But since this place was an hour-ish away, I was worried I’d be too stressed from the drive and all that.

So I found the place oddly easily, thank goodness.  I left my place a bit later than planned, so I arrived 5 minutes before my appointment.  Get up to the clinic, and the secretary and sleep tech are running around all confused.  I had requested a room with a hospital bed (back problems) and it hadnt been cleaned yet.  They initially put me in the regular bed room.  It wasnt bad, but I was hoping for the other room.  I accidentally dropped something and it rolled under the bed and OMG it was FILTHY under there. I immediately hopped on Yelp to “report” it, because I’m a nerd like that.  Finally ended up in the other room.  It was super gross, but whatever.  Had to power through.  Got all the junk applied, went better than last time.  They don’t do the nose wires anymore, it was a cannula or whatever those things are called.  I didnt get a picture with the nose thing, but here is a comparison:

Sleep study then and now

Sleep study then and now

I truly almost wore the same shirt too haha.  Anyway, I did sleep.  This place was so much better.  Not constantly waking me to keep me flat on my back or anything.  The tech said I snored loudly.  I don’t feel like I do and haven’t been told I do lately, but we shall see what the results say.

I hate the adhesive they put in your hair though.  I didnt wash it out right away either time.  I should have, but I’m lazy and the tangling pisses me the eff off.  I just kept my hair up for a couple of days and when it it was time, I brushed out all I could, covered my head in coconut oil and then washed with castile body wash because I thought it might provide a better clean. Thankfully it did, it all washed out with one shower.

I go in on Tuesday for the sleep study results.  Still terrified about having to get a CPAP.  I hope after that appointment, I wont ever have to deal with sleep medicine ever again.

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Sleepy time

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I’m getting ready for a sleep study.

I need to leave in like… three hours.  (Crap – is that right?  I really shouldn’t be writing right now.  Eh, fat girl priorities...)  I have a bunch to do, I’m not at all prepared.

I did a sleep study a few years ago and it sucked.  Hard. (Wow, I just found a picture from it on Facebook – 7/21/11… this one is gonna be 7/22/13.  Freaky!)

Cyborg!!!

Cyborg!!!

The room was too cold (They insisted it needed to be cold he help me sleep.  Okay, except I sleep better when it’s warm.).  I was covered in tape and wires and bands and goo.  It was uncomfortable and itchy.  I could continue listing things… but gotta keep the negativity away.

I’m really scared about this appointment.  I haven’t been to the hospital where it’s all going down, it’s about 45 minutes away.  What I am most concerned about is the CPAP.  I got diagnosed with sleep apnea when I did the study a few years ago, even though I slept MAYBE ten minutes.  I got the CPAP probably a year later.  (I told them I would try this mouth guard thing first, but due to lack of money/laziness, I never did.)  I have high anxiety and couldn’t get over feeling like I was drowning or something.  You know when you’re walking outside and it’s too windy and you cant breathe for a second?  It was like that.  (DISCLAIMER: CPAPs can be incredibly useful.  I am not knocking them, it just wasn’t right for me.)  To be fair, I didn’t try it as much as I could’ve.  I decided early that it wasn’t for me and returned the unit.

Anyway, point being, I hope to not be told I need to get that again.

I get the sleep study in a few hours, get the results next week, then next up should be the lab work and endoscopy and then everything gets submitted to insurance for the weight loss surgery!

Here we go again

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I am just awful at this blogging thing.  Sorry.

I’m really and truly going to try to be better about it.  I got my own laptop, made a couple other accounts (a YouTube channel, a Facebook group page thing…) and am pondering others (Instagram and Pinterest, perhaps?) so I can throw myself into documenting my progress towards getting my RNY gastric bypass, gleaning information, and helping others the best I can.  My problem is, I really don’t know how to get a proper start!

I guess I’ll attempt a bit more of a history about myself…

So, okay, I’m 30 now.  I’ve been overweight for as long as I can recall.  I seem to recall getting big around 8 years old or so?  Can’t be sure.  I don’t know how much I was at any age, really.  In high school I was a member of NJROTC and had to wear men’s uniforms.  I had to get the clothes altered to fit my girth.  I didn’t get the most fancy uniform, simply because they didn’t run big enough.

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This is my senior picture.  What’s with the smirk?

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My most recent picture… unintentionally also wearing orange.  I assume I weigh around 305?

I have other pics to share, but I assume I should spread it out.  Okay… so what else?  Oh, the plant-based diet.

Along with being heavy, I’ve been a vegetarian for as long as I can remember.  Aside from my first grade teacher force feeding me a hot dog (while telling me I needed to send the dog to his house), I don’t know when or why I stopped eating meat.  I know I used to go back and forth as a child.  It was a giant source of stress with my family.  I wasn’t raised to be meat-free and my parents still love a good burger.  I personally don’t think I’ve intentionally had meat in a bit over 20 years.  I remember a hamburger around 9 years old.  No idea when I had fish or poultry last.

As for what I do still eat… I’ll have ice cream on occasion.  If I’m buying my own, I’ll get a frozen dessert from So Delicious.  If I go to a restaurant, its not the end of the world if I have butter or the occasional thing of ranch dressing.  At home, I use Earth Balance buttery spread and make my own salad dressing.  The worst thing I eat is eggs.  I go back and forth on that one.  I cant prepare them myself though.  I have really bizarre logic when it comes to eggs, and I shouldn’t get into it.

I prefer to call myself almost-vegan.  There are so many titles out there, its super confusing.  I would prefer it if people in my world didn’t use leather, hunt, eat meat, and made more natural choices… but I’m not a PETA fanatic or anything.  I am the last person to show you a video of how cows are treated or something.  I don’t want to watch that shit!

Wow.  Back to what I was talking about…

I don’t eat meat, yet I’m still morbidly obese.  I make fairly healthy choices for the most part, but at times have problems with portion control.  I live a very sedentary lifestyle.  I am SO EXCITED to lose weight and become one of those weirdos that actually likes going to the gym..  I want to be a runner.  I want to be a yogi.  It’s not a matter of want, even… these things will be happening.

I’m guessing these next few posts will be more of a background about me, until my surgery stuff gets going more.  Sometimes I’ll type, sometimes I’ll post videos on my YouTube channel.  I’m seriously rambling now, so I’ll stop for the night.

 

*Edited to add – This is my 3rd attempt at posting this stupid thing. ARE YOU TOO GOOD TO POST, BLOG?!