Tag Archives: YouTube

The longer I wait to post, the more there is to post.

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So basically, I’m a failure at blogging.  I had planned to explain all about my pre-op appointment, the pre-op diet, my concerns before going into surgery, getting a bunch of pre-op pictures, surgery day, my time in the hospital, recovery, and the post-op diet.  Yeahhh, I didn’t do any of that.

I’m a day short of three weeks since surgery.  I do have some pictures to share with you and will post videos on YouTube, but not today.  This post is mostly just to check in and prove that I am alive.

The surgery itself did go well, I have had some complications since, and right now I wouldn’t do this again.  I know I will feel better about it later and end up thankful for the whole thing, but right now I’m just totally not a fan of weight loss surgery.  I have lost weight and stuff, but can’t help but wonder why I didn’t try harder to just do this without surgery.  I don’t think I really thought this through.  I don’t think I tried hard enough before.

To those of you reading this and are in the process of getting surgery or considering it – please don’t let me discourage you.  Just PLEASE get used to drinking the goddamn protein.  My life would be tons easier if I could choke that crap down.  I mean, there have been other complications, but that part has been the worst.  I feel like I’m dying all the time because I’m so malnourished.  I mean, more so than I should be.

Anyway, yes – I am alive.  I’m at least 30 pounds down.  I weigh myself on Mondays, so I’ll know later today how much progress has been made.

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Checking in, concerns, complaints

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Since I can’t manage a video.

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I just tried to upload a video on YouTube, but you can’t freaking hear me.  I was trying to do an update with my stupid CPAP on.

Just some quick updates… I see a cardiologist this morning.  It’s not one of my surgery pre-reqs, but my regular doctor noticed that my heart rate is a bit too fast/uneven, so I got referred over just to be safe.  I had a 24 monitor on but didn’t do it correctly, so we’ll see how that all goes.

I have a follow-up with Lincare this week to see if I’m complying with CPAP usage.  I honestly don’t know how I’ll do with that… I think I have to prove compliance for like 30 of 90 days?  I forget the rules.  I still can’t sleep well with this mask on, so I have to sit on my ass and not move/eat/drink for at least four hours each day.  Hopefully I’ll be done with this thing soon.  Anyway, so I take the machine in so they can read the memory card inside to see if I’m compliant, and then I head to the sleep doctor to see how my titration study went.  If I “passed” (I don’t know what counts for passing…), then I should be done with everything.

I haven’t gotten my vitamins yet.  I’m struggling with finding a combo of vegan and affordable.  I know how important the vitamins are and fully intend to take them, it’s just finding the exact right one.  It’s frustrating.

Another thing I had mentioned in the shitty video I made is how FUCKING SICK I AM OF BEING FAT.  I am so over this!!!  I am so sick of never having clothes that fit, worrying every time I sit in a chair I don’t know, not having a normal relationship… and wearing this stupid CPAP mask!  I should make a post of all the things I dislike about feeling this way and what I hope for the future.

I have my gym membership back this month, it’s been suspended for the past four months.  I’m realizing that it’s a week into the month and I haven’t gone.  The week has been crazy, but I should’ve been able to go.  I’m just feeling down about myself.

Oh, I got a Blendtec.  I haven’t used it yet, but am excited to do green smoothies and stuff.

I realize the images in this post don’t have a heck a lot to do with what I said.  They do have to do with what I planned to say, so it totally counts.  The next post will be better.  I promise.